Monday, August 05, 2013

on Speck

If you follow me on Instagram you might notice something a little different around our casa. Something a little more pink.
You might notice the hashtag #SpecialK from time to time.
The big smile.
The mischievous look in a certain pair of blue eyes.

If you have read this blog for awhile then you know about our families consideration of adoption.
Of how we have been curious about ways to grow our family in ways other than me growing my belly (not that I mind that part as much as my body seems to mind scaring all of us a bit.)
So we have considered foster care.We have looked into foreign and domestic and state (mostly state) adoption.
We have thought about sibling groups. We have thought about daughters.
One time, we even got THE big stack of paper work. And it looked daunting. And so did a lot of other things in our life. There seemed to be so many roadblocks. All the while I kept saying "why can't a baby/daughter/sibling group just be dropped on our doorstep?

So it all got put on the back burner. And I was frustrated.  Embarrassed that we hadn't made it work. Jealous of those who did. Disappointed and confused by what I thought what was a very good plan for our lives. A plan even God could get behind.

 Meanwhile, we began helping out a single mom with two daughters who was trying to juggle it all. A mom without any of her family close by. A mom trying to make a new life for her and her daughters. Daughters we had known since they were babies.Old neighbors. Friends.
So we gave rides to dances, and went shopping for Halloween costumes. We helped with after-school care, and homework. We cooked dinner together, and played, and laughed, and went Christmas shopping for their mom together. We went out for pizza and asked for a table of 6 instead of 4.
We had our bumps. We had to adjust to each others habits and expectations. To doing bits of life together-not as guest and host, but as family.
And somewhere in the middle of it all, Sweet Man and I looked at each other and our full house and said "huh. isn't that interesting?"

And then the girls got bigger. And their mom got re-married. And suddenly they didn't need so many rides home from school or so much help with homework anymore. There was someone else now to help.
Which is as it should be.

We still see them, we still give rides from time to time. Help whenever needed.
They are still part of our lives. Always will be. They have our hearts for all time, and our couch anytime they need it. But for the most part, we were back to being a party of 4 at the pizza joint.

And then by golly, just as we were settling in to our predictable quad-life, there was another one. Another single mom with no people of her own. Another little girl in need of a safe place to land while mom works a job at night and goes to school during the day. And sometimes its bumpy. We are learning to do life together, not as guest and host, but as family.

So friends, I would like you to meet  Special K (or Speck  as Sweet Man has now nicknamed her nickname.) She goes with us, for as long as needed. 
Which now brings our party up to 5 when we go out for pizza.

Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
    a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
    when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
    don’t for a moment escape God’s notice

Psalm 51:16-17


  1. I don't quite know what to say...congratulations? Yippee? Thank you? Bless you? Yes, that's it. Bless you and your Sweet Man for opening your home and hearts to those who need you.

  2. It's still a form of "adoption", isn't it? So many needs out in the world. Bless you for opening your heart and home! We "adopted" a neighbor girl over 30 years ago--A 4 yr. old girl a year older than our own. Her dad was a man of few words, an older brother with violent mental illness, a mother weighed down with her own depression. Many times this child would spend the night at our home (I kept her every summer), and no one would call the next day for her to come home. So I would have her call home and ask if she could stay another night - The answer was always "yes". The teenage years brought a suicide attempt by the mother and "A" stayed with us during that time. Eventually "A" went away to college, graduated, married and moved to another state. Her mom eventually did commit suicide, sad to say. We went several years without hearing from "A", but the last few years have reconnected. She always calls and comes to see us when they come to town!

  3. Yes! This is how the body of Christ is supposed to work. We are family because of Him. We take care of each other. We take care of the lost and lonely and place them in families.
    We are called to care for the widows and the orphans and I believe so many of these single parent families fall into that catergory, even if it is not death that has torn their families apart. Bless you for seeing your calling, your special ministry.
    Enjoy your time with that sweet little sister. ;)

  4. This brought tears to my eyes - - once, I was that mom - - now, at a place where I (who has turned to we) can help another mom. So grateful for all that's been done for me and esp my (now grown) children. And proud to watch J, E, & T do things in their lives where they help others - - the seed you are planting has long reaching roots. Blessings to you and your family.

  5. So lovely. Hugs to you and your family.


ok, really. tell me the truth... do these comments make me look fat?

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