I had a dream last night that Sweet Man and I got to go to Martha Stewarts house on vacation. It was a very detailed dream, but I won't bore you with it all, even though some of you might find the entire thing riveting (Sweet Man is shaking his head no. Hurumph.)
For time management sake here are the highlights:
1)She had two houses connected to each other. The first one looked like the Vanderbilt mansion and the second one (which was somehow attached on the side) looked like a 1965 ranch style house. She primarily lived in the second one.
2) In the dream I hadn't packed enough clean underwear and I was too embarrassed to ask her if I could use her washing machine (I woke up before I resolved this horrible problem.)
3) The main house was filled with cobwebs. No dusting had taken place in what looked like years. I concluded that she had fired her dusting maid when she went to prison and had never hired anyone back after she was released, in order to save money.
Shall we analyze a bit? Why not. It's Friday, let's live a little. (PS- didn't I tell you the curtains looked great with the sun shinning?)
First, let's just get the underwear bit out of the way. I am sorda obsessed with clean underwear. If I was a gajillionaire I might wear two new freshly laundered pairs a day ( not at the same time of course.) So that part is not hard to figure out.
The other bits, the house and the cobwebs, are a little more worthy of in depth reflection, though their meaning seems pretty obvious as well.
They seemed to being saying "SLOW DOWN you crazy women. Even Martha chooses small houses and lets the cobwebs go."
Of course we know that these things are, in fact, most likely not true about Martha. I am pretty sure she does not have miles of cobwebs growing.
But they were true of Dream Martha, who was very happy in her smaller house and didn't seem to mind the cobwebs in the bigger one even a little. I even think she would have been cool with me washing my underwear at her house if I had been brave enough to ask.
Since I have been back on two feet (post- broken foot for 9 weeks) things have been a bit of whirlwind. We have had big plans most weekends in some form or fashion, and several evening activities as well. All of it has been fun and wonderful. And also a little more energy-sucking than I had predicted.
Suddenly,it seems, I am discovering that I need to find a whole new rhythm to live in. One that falls somewhere between where I was while I was sitting for months and months and the way I lived "before the foot" - the one where I was always going, always pushing myself just a wee bit further. Always doing just one more thing, committing to one more project, juggling one more responsibility.
Secondly, those Martha Stewart dreams are a clear indicator that something is wrong. Dream Martha was so happy and warm and she didn't care a bit about dust bunnies and cobwebs. She seemed to care much more about us being comfortable as her guest. She was letting all of the "its" go.
I am pretty sure that the dream wasn't about Martha. It was about me.
A dear friend and I have been discussing the tension that comes when you want to run like the wind and take on the world, but you also know you are called to be still. How do you live life to the fullest and be still at the same time?
This week I am wondering if maybe living life to the fullest means living rooted in stillness. If truly running is first really about resting? And if so, what does that look for me?
Well right now it means I am going to put the rest of the kitchen mini-make-over off for a while and not feel badly that I am living it unfinished and that I don't have perfect pictures to show you dears.
It means that sometimes my blog post will rely heavily on Pinterest sourced images and be low on words because I am using my words elsewhere and cannot expend the energy to think up anymore.
It means that I am going to stop obsessing about what kind of art work is going to go over my couch. I will find it when I find it.
And it means I will value rest- including naps-more than I have before.
And I will continue to pray and ponder and investigate this idea.
Beyond that, I am not sure what this means for me, for our life. But it is a beginning.