Welcome to Thursday's Confessions. A weekly feature where I confess, before you my sisters and brothers, the silly, the ridiculous and even at times the shameful. Why? Because confession is good for the soul. Even in Blogland.
*WARNING* This post is fairly whiny and self involved.
Sometimes I want to throw in the towel. I want to go hide under my blankets and never come out.
I don't want to have faith or trust or hope.
I don't want to wait.
I don't want to keep saying "everything will work out as it should."
Even though deep deep down I know that 's true.
It's just that one or two layers above that truth lies a very thick layer of impatience.
I want what I want when I want it. (Insert serious foot stomping and pouty face here.)
Or at the very least I want a sign (preferably SOLD) to show me all will be as I wish it.
But that is not how life works. Stamping my food has NEVER worked. Ever.
So why is the temptation there? Why can't I skip this phase and move straight into tranquil peace?
Why do I have to wear myself out like and an over wrought toddler who just needs to give in to sleep?
Kicking,crying and pounding the floor with my fist till I finally pass out?
(I warned you that I was going to be whiny and melodramatic. )
I don't know. Maybe this is how it always will be with big changes. Maybe someday I will learn how to wait without anxiousness from start to finish. Maybe.
Until then I will breathe deep and start again.
But for now I just needed a moment.
Its' Thursday after all.
PS- Happy Groundhog Day!