Thursday, October 14, 2010

washing over me

my best friend suffered a very great loss last weekend.
the story is hers not mine.
but the truth is that in the wake of her loss, there comes waves of change and loss and hope and grief and love, that wash up on the shores of of all of us that love her most, sticking to our skin like wet sand.

last night I sat on the porch swing with my Sweet Man and I cried.
I cried because I hadn't cried much yet and it is just so much.
I cried because my heart is expanding again and it hurts.
I cried because I am itchy from all this wet sand sticking to me.
and because sometimes my life feels like an etch a sketch that just got shook up and I can't quite decide what I am supposed to draw next.

So I cried and I talked and I poured out my heart.
I said ridiculous things like "lets run away and join the circus" and  "do you want to move the living room furniture again?" and "lets just move to France!"

and he never once said "that is crazy. you are nuts. why do I live with you?"
No, he let me talk. And he held my hand, and he pushed the swing so I could curl up next to him.

and then I felt a little better.
and I didn't feel so itchy any more.


  1. this is a beautiful post and you are a dear friend to carry some of her burden. i pray God brings peace to your friend. take care.

  2. just wanted to let you know that something lovely happened to me today…I found your blog…delightful

  3. So sorry for your friends loss & for your sorrow. Hope this week goes better for the both of you.


ok, really. tell me the truth... do these comments make me look fat?

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