For most of the past week I have been sick with an outer ear infection. If you don't know what that is, thank your lucky stars. Mostly it is like having knives dug into your ear, while at the same time you feel as if you are underwater, or in an airplane, because your ears won't "pop". I haven't had full hearing in either of my ears for a week now and let me tell you that this stinks big time. I feel as if I am always in a daze (maybe that's the fever part,) and I can't hear what my kids are saying or what Nathan is saying. I have to say "huh?" a lot. Apparently I also turn the TV up way too loud. I wouldn't know.
Being in crowds is the worst. You can't make out any one voice or sound, it is all garbled. I went to a birthday party and to church this weekend, and at both I felt completely isolated. I pulled away from groups and tried to avoid conversations. I can't tell how loud my voice is so I always talk too softly. Because, ironically, even though I can't hear anyone else well, I can hear myself perfectly. This is the oddest way to walk through life. Like being in a bubble. I suddenly wish that we were all taught sign language from birth as a back-up plan for life. That way, no matter how far across a room we are from someone, or what our spoken language is, or whatever wired illnesses we encountered there would be a backup plan for communication.
Nathan (who has been a trooper through all of this) is going to be working or fishing with Ray Baser most of this week so I have to get better. I am going to the Dr. (again) tomorrow, and this time I might yell or jump on the table or something to get my point across. I have to get well. Enough is enough.